Finally!

Dearest Magic Box,
I am ever so sorry for my prolonged absence...ever so.

I was naturally celebrating the release of my dear friend DMX from the prison. I still remember the first time I met DMX after he found my profile on blackmeetpeople.com (one of the very successful websites run by Danielle Staub from the Real Housewives of New Jersey)

After a raucous tickling party and spindle session, we put the lambs to bed and partied with our dogs. There is not any party like a dog party, because my friends dog parties shall not stop nay ever.....nay

Births and Days

What a glorious day magic box! Not only was an amazing baby born this week to Lord and Lady Hasseler (praise be to the minx gods) but none other than Countess De Murphee will be celebrating her birthday this weekend.

Who are these people? you may be asking magic box. If you are asking that I have lost all respect for you. These people are known throughout the land for the firm but just rules.

On a side note, nothing says birthday like a swimming pool filled with caramel sauce milled by the monks de Montparnasse. Clothing is, as always, optional.

Smugglin

Lord Bagwell was in quite a state this morning.

While enjoying his morning 8 ball, imagine Lord's surprise when looking at the important news of the day he saw that his close personal friend DMX would have to stay in prison longer because he was caught smuggling in drugs.
http://bit.ly/rhzsQw

He was supposed to be en route to a fabulous welcome home party today one of my lovely estates. Instead, he will be in lockdown for another week...

Well there goes my cake.

What is the lesson of the day then Lords and Ladys? Don't buy a $5,00 cake in the shape of DMX's head for his release party when the man can't even manage to smuggle his drugs in a respectful manner.

so long magic box

Sax Solos

Yesterday, Lord Bagwell was feasting on sweat meats and mulled wine while watching reruns of Torchwood and after choking on a small cornish game hen wing realized. What this world needs more saxaphone solos in songs.

Sax solos are one of the sexiest things out there, followed closely by goose feather headresses.

Just check out this video for a taste of the sexy: http://youtu.be/olT8RZtfrzQ

Luckily sax solos are back so Lord Bagwell can once again enjoy some smooth sax sexiness while listening to the new Katy Perry record.

More Fashion

Lord Bagwell has a serious issue. Ladies: If you insist on wearing white lace catsuits two key words: Bleach Pen. A dirty white lace catsuits always look better with fewer stains.

Fashion

Lord Bagwell often gets asked questions about fashion do's and fashion do not. For example here is an excerpt from a recent fan letter:

" Dear Lord Bagwell,

I am a business lady. As a business lady I have to wear business clothes. However, I often have difficulty figuring out what is apporpriate for certain business situations. Can you give me some tips on what to wear and what to avoid?
Sincerely,

High Powered Business Lady"

Well my dear you have come to the right place.

Here are a few tips and hints from your dear Lord Bagwell:

1) Pants are always a don't

That's correct. Pants tell the world that you are not to be taken seriously. Luckily bloomers are not pants so wear away.

2) Top hats tell the world, "I mean business, take me seriously, then take me out for drinks". Who doesn't want drinks? Fools and unsuccessful businessladies

3) Myth: You shouldn't wear fox furs after Labor Day.
This myth was started by foxes. Do not trust foxes, Wear Them! Drapping yourself in fox carcucuss is a ticket to the top

4) If your top is loose, you're a goose. Nuff Said'

So there are a few tips from Lord Bagwell to you on how to get ahead in business fashion.

So long Magic Box

MURDERED

Lord Bagwell has been murdered! However, Lord Bagwell was also cloned prior to being murdered and will come of age in mere months. TO SCIENCE